For a majority of teenagers today, owning a smartphone is an essential way for socializing, staying connected, and navigating the world. Many people question what might happen when a child doesn’t have direct access to a phone at a young age? Jennifer Martinez, who didn’t get her first phone until she was 22 years old, explains how growing up without one shaped her mental health, social life, and sense of self.

When Jennifer Martinez was growing up, her way of communication was the landline in her house that was in her kitchen.

“There was no texting and no constant updates,” she recalls. “You had to make plans ahead of time and actually speak to people to make those plans happen.”

In a world without social media or instant gratification of messaging, her social life was centered around face to face interactions. While this may sound like a foreign language to younger generations who have grown up in a world full of smartphones, Jennifer explained that it was a simpler and more quiet way to connect, leaving no room for drama on the surface.

“I didn’t have to worry about keeping up with everyone’s every move like you and your brother,” she said.

“No one was posting their lunch, and I didn’t have to wonder who was talking about me or whether I was missing out on something important.”

Jennifer feels that without the pressure of constant connectivity, she was able to maintain a stronger and more clear minded mental well being.

When Jennifer and her husband gave their children phones they were hoping it would help them stay in touch with friends and communicate so that they know their kids are safe.
Over time, she noticed an unintended shift.

“It became so obvious that the phones were changing things,” she said.

“My children’s attention span shortened and their moods became progressively worse as the weeks went on. It was like their phones were creating background noise and they were entitled to have it blaring.”

This observation matches up with recent studies showing that early exposure to smartphones can and will impact emotional regulation and attention. Research suggests that constant notifications and the addictive nature of social media can contribute to anxiety, depression, and reduced attention spans. The difference between Jennifer’s childhood and her children’s experiences had major differences.

“Even though I could see the benefits, I also saw the constant need to be online in your attitudes towards you dad and I,” she said.

As a parent, Jennifer noticed that smartphones, especially social media, affected her children’s mental health.

“I saw much of a pressure it created for you two,” she said. “You were constantly comparing yourselves to others and trying to live up to someone else’s life which caused you guys to always be upset.”

Jennifer said that this sense of digital disconnect was concerning when it came to her kids emotional development.

“I don’t think you had as many opportunities to interact with people face to face and COVID-19 only made it worse,” she said. “Social media creates a fake connection and doesn’t have the same effect as sitting down with someone and having a meaningful conversation,” she said.

One of the biggest challenges of living in a world where phones and social media are constantly in our faces and being talked about is feeling the pressure to be constantly available and creates a sense of instant gratification.

“Without a phone you had to learn to be okay with boredom and loneliness in healthy ways,” she said.

“We read books, went outside, talked to each other, and those helped us develop coping skills,” she said.

For many teenagers, having a phone meant the temptation of endless scrolling. Most are easily alone in their room or at a family gathering and their phone feels like an easy escape. If you asked a teenager how they really felt about having a phone, most would say that having a phone at such a young age robbed them of their ability to deal with emotions in a healthy way.

Jennifer believes that without constant digital distractions during her childhood she was allowed to build emotional connections.

“When you didn’t have a phone, you had to figure things out without distractions and that’s when emotional growth is built,” she said.

As the world is only going to continue to advance in technology but specifically phones and social media, it’s important to consider the long term impacts of giving younger children access to technology. From Jennifer’s experience, the simplicity of growing up without a phone gave her a better mental health and self awareness. The conversation about phones, social media, and mental health is an ongoing theme. As everyone navigates the new ways of connecting with people, it’s important to balance the benefits of technology with the needs of mental health.