Serious (And Not-So-Serious) Google Reviews

The wild, weird, and downright ridiculous reviews of Fort Collins.

Parker Colip, Contributor|November 12, 2019

The good, bad, and ugly of Fort Collins Google reviews.

The good, bad, and ugly of Fort Collins Google reviews.

The first thing that most people look at when researching a new restaurant or business is their star-rating from Google Reviews. These five orange stars are often a big determinant on whether or not we choose to go to these places. 

Who would rather go to a two star restaurant with four Google Reviews than the 4.7 star restaurant with 3,000 Google Reviews? Whether we realize it or not, these reviews have a big impact on businesses big and small, but each rating should be taken with a grain of salt.

This is a great example of a not-so-serious review of Fossil Ridge High School. An amazing and somewhat accurate poem, dare I say, but still a satirical review.
This person gave one star to Horsetooth Mountain for not providing horses. I personally have never heard of a place providing horses for everyone. Even worse, I never could have imagined someone complaining about a “ stupid Bring Your Own Horse” policy. Many reviews like these are based off of angry people with unrealistic expectations.
Then comes the Local Guides. Literally anyone can be labeled a “Local Guide” after writing just a few reviews with pictures. The bright orange label is something that attracts the average reader into trusting their review to the fullest, but as we can see, they may not be the most trusted analysts. Romero’s review, although the stars may be correct, is a reference to Spongebob Squarepants. Just below that is Local Guide Mounica B’s review, scattered with grammar errors and bad English, something that an actual local guide would be cautious about.
Poems seem to be the go-to way of writing one-star reviews for businesses. These are not reliable nor accurate, but often pretty entertaining. I would recommend Mr. Wyatt Albert to pursue a career in poetry and stay away from becoming a Local Guide.

Overall, Google Reviews can be fun to read, but they do impact businesses. Most reviews should not be taken too seriously as most people only write reviews from a bad experience or are just making a joke. Before judging a business or place, I would recommend experiencing it for yourself or hearing about it from a trusted friend.